SHe wasn’t willing to even go farther because she said she would 100% hurt me and wasn;t going to move forward. I just felt as if I am reading about my own story. You say you’re terrified of telling her you want to be in a relationship with her because she may shut down – or worse. It was always an excuse. Here are 15 signs you’re afraid of love. I’m the one guy she trusts and relies on. I’m not in love with someone scared of love…I myself am scared to fall in love. You might learn how to help a loved one learn how to overcome insecurity and fear of abandonment in a relationship. Guy was a drug addict. 7 Ways to Deal With Guilty Feelings After a Breakup. So for the next week we seen each other and we was both texing consistently about how much we liked each other and connected. To stop. I have faith the universe will see that and I have gratitude that it’s already here. I welcome your thoughts welcome below…I can’t offer advice or relationship help, but it may help you to share your experience. I do love him and i am not leaving him but im terrified because he could literally shatter my world if he decided i wasn’t enough for him. If you are in love with some one who is afraid to love, be kind and gentle. He trusted me with stories from his past, etc. Eventually I asked her if she knew when the dance was (I didn’t know the set date), and she responded with the he date, before saying that she thought she would probably stay home this year (bad experience last year, from the hetero relationship I mentioned earlier) unless a group of friends didn’t have dates. Love is the very thing this person needs the most. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. I protect myself. But that happens with all of my relationships. She’s been really hurt in the past which has badly affected her, I’ve been hurt as well. The relationships weren’t good. She admitted to me that she pushes people away and that all she meets is jerks. And for these reasons I am asking you with all my heart: will you go out with me? Her reply was” I’m not going to say yes, an I’m not going to say no”. I'm too afraid to love you Heaven on Earth Is in her embrace A gentle touch And a smiling face I'm just one wishing I was a pair With someone oh somewhere I just don't know what to do I'm too afraid to love you All those sleepless nights And all those wasted days I wish loneliness would leave me But I think it's here to stay What more can I do I’m almost 60, and my mother was alcoholic. The true reason for ending the relationship…something happened to her 30 years ago that she says she has never got over. You might even consider sending her the book and letting her decide if she wants to pursue healing and forgiveness. But the problem was, he told me he was afraid of falling in love with me. I met a lot of guys after him but nothing was the same. We talked & laughed & really connected. He is that perfect match that you deserve, you know if you turn your back on him you will end up questioning your values and your believes. She is self conscious about her body but goes online and expresses it to… I guess build up her confidence. I decided to wait but now, the wait is starting to take a toll on me. Thanks for listening. I’m 14 years younger than him and even though I loved him and chose to stay, I do feel resentment for staying so long because now I missed out on having children and now I have to find love again to someone secure enough for marriage at 40. We were awesome friends, talked well, laughed, walked each other to the cars, hung out , lots in common, ETC. Someone who’s going through fear of abandonment or a fear of a relationship and love isn’t trying to hurt you, they are hurting and trying to lessen their pain. when she responded hours later she still said she had an issue with the girls flirting with me and I ignored her response (I was mad at her). He is seeing a Counciler. And I guess the real dilemma is the not knowing how the other person really feels because they won’t or cannot say. Ok, I’m not sure how I found this website but here goes, I’m in a similar situation (I think), I’ve known this girl for a while and we really really connect. I recently told him that I love him… and he tells me not to. She says she loves my company, but thinks I am too intense but won’t talk to me about it. He says he still loves me but hes not ready to get into anything . About a week and two days into the relationship, I get that text. I think if your patient you could win this girl.. From what I understand, she couldn’t really come to terms with the idea that she liked another girl. I left a toxic relationship for good. She told me that she felt terrified, that she loved me but didn’t want to take the relationship to the next level because she felt like I wouldn’t support her, that she had a kid to think of, and that she needed the help her parents provided. I think I will contact her in a few days, see how she is doing. So of course I said I would be happy to go as friends. I meet a guy about two years ago. We were really connecting on a deep level. I wonder sometimes how lucky I am to have met you. Every relationship I’ve ever had I’ve ended, mostly after a few months. Everything just feels so comfortable and natural with her, and she is the only female I have ever questioned my feelings for!? I honestly don’t know what to do for the best. It is most definitely possible to move forward, I have seen it happen with ample counselling but know it’s an indefinite waiting game. Year after year. Only she can decide that she doesn’t want to be scared of love…and only she can take action to overcome her fear of intimacy. I did get her flowers for her a couple weeks ago too, I still do not know why I did it. BUT… what proves that somebody is dedicated to somebody and will not budge…will not blink from that position? Oh Gosh how perfect we were. We are both 61. But i’m scared. That has to play a critical role too, because you want to see how long they will keep chasing you and their reasons of as to why. Go the distance. I think this site is really good. I wrote this article with you in mind: I can’t say I knew that I would love her right then and there but I can tell you that I wanted her to bemail mine. Thats how things were from September until February when he finally ended things. I would love some advice on what I should do .. thank you. He's afraid to let himself completely fall for the girl and start a relationship because that will mean he hands over his power to her. I understand his day starts at 6 am. I would be reluctant to keep going back after amounts of time with no contact as that sets a pattern of behaviour you’re willing to accept. If you want more emotional connection – more love – then you need to give her time and space to breathe. She knows she’s scared of love…but she doesn’t know how to get over it. I could go into a whole spiel about how and why, and he said and I said. But, you must also remember that what helps one person overcome fear of intimacy (which is running from love because of fear) may not work for another. That was my plan but he said he needed to cancel our weekend. We met on a dating app and we didn;t exactly click at first. We went away for the weekend with her daughter and we had a great time. In addition, she stated she’s a runner. His future plans included ibtaining more degrees (he has two post doctorates now), golf and teaching. We ended because I needed space and my feelings for him had changed. I just had to finally walk away from him. But just go slow and I know it’s hard to do but sometimes let her chase you. If it gets you both there then waiting is priceless and I am grateful for it. I know we did and she felt it. back about a month and a half ago(around the same time she started having these dreams) she asked me if i would move in with her for the summer since once school ended we would be an hour and a half apart otherwise. A seemingly thriving life, is shallow, void, and truly lonely. Then she moved away and now we barely communicate. I told him.. He is attentive to me. I want a healthy relationship. You then have to decide how strong your feelings are for the other person and whether you can wait or need to move on for your own peace of mind. I am working through that pain and learning to recognize my own behavior and change it. At this point I am going to keep up the backing off without any “failures” because I have no Idea what else to do. In hindsight I see that was a flag. So we stopped talking and hanging out for a month or two. Because I’ve done some soul-searching and I have looked within myself to see where this is coming from. It passed but has left a scar. As I’m sure you know I am not married, or looking to marry any time soon. I spent days mentally warring with myself on whether or not I could ask her. As it has been a month since the split I’m accepting now theres nothing further I can do…Thank you for at least giving me an understanding if nothing else. So we did in her room. xo. I really want to show him that he is not alone in life and that I will always be there for him…and that he deserves to be loved.. am I selfish for wanting to be with someone who is still hurt? Something has to give. Both carried that into our relationship with each other as well as with others. I’m deeply in love with him, but I’m quick to push him away if I’m emotionally triggered. But there are times when she pushes me away with no reason, and when I ask she says that it’s her way of dealing with things and that she likes being alone. But would never reciprocate in real settings. My girlfriend split from me two months ago needing space to work things out. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. I am screwed now, but i know i can recover.. And Tim, you are right “People need to be whole when they enter into relationships”. She’s 35, I am 41, She said she hadn’t had these feelings since she was married (she walked out on that marriage three years ago, after being married for six years), she said it came to an end of the road and she had to go. 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